In recent months, men have been writing in to ask me to write an article on how women should perform oral sex on them. The first thing that raced through my mind was, why me? But that’s a whole other article altogether.
Considering this is a men’s magazine, I thought that guys wouldn’t like reading about great oral sex at buddiesfuck.com — not only would that be teasing them immensely, but they’re not the ones who need to know these things. So instead, I took to the streets of New York and ended up at a quaint little bar in SoHo with a couple of male friends and their colleagues.
I was glad to hear that these men were not shy about revealing what they love and abhor about women’s trek to the salami pit. What they had to say was not only hysterical at times, it also made quite a bit of sense.
meet the candidates
Richard — Divorce lawyer players:
Lou — PR manager
Andy — Personal fitness trainer
Christopher — Corporate lawyer
Nash — Store manager
As I sat with these five gentlemen, I couldn’t help noticing that they were all in fantastic shape. And considering they were handsome and successful, there was no doubt that many a woman had ventured downtown to free their willy — and then some.
I asked them straightforward questions and they had an earful, or rather a mouthful, of things to tell me. So do most men have the same preferences when it comes to the frolics of fellatio? Check out what these guys had to say — you may just discover something new about yourself.
Lou: Hmm, let’s see, there are so many amazing things… my all-time favorite is when she delves into my body like she wants to inhale me all at once. She uses her hands everywhere, from my nuts and my member to my thighs and my waist. All this while still sucking my member with reckless abandon.
Nash: My girlfriend, on occasion, puts ice cubes in her mouth before going down on me, and when the heat of her mouth mixes with the coolness of the cubes, Mr. Lube is ready to pounce on her. What is the hottest thing a woman has done to your member?
Andy: I like it when a woman uses my penis to have a party in her mouth (Huh???). She just uses her tongue as though she’s doing acrobatics, and although I’m sure no men like it when a woman bites their little man, I have to admit that I like it when a woman uses her teeth to lightly stroke me while she’s licking my “fireman’s hat.”
Nash: Lying down. In what position do you most enjoy receiving oral sex?
Lou: Lying down.
Andy: Lying down.
Christopher: Lying down.
Richard: Standing up, leaning against a wall. I like it when I get so excited that my legs begin to shake; it makes me feel alive and it’s an intense experience. (Well, I’ll be…)
Find out whether these men share your likes and dislikes — there may even be an oral sex technique you or your partner haven’t thought of yet.
Andy: I’d like it if a girl would play with my rectum in the midst of pleasuring me. What?? (All the guys are staring at him questioningly, but I referred them to my article on the Male G-spot, and I think everything’s going to be okay.)Is there something that a woman has not yet done for you orally that you’re yearning for?
Richard: I’d like if she would stop and use her hands every so often, rather than behave as though she’s in a marathon.
Christopher: Although it has happened on occasion, it hasn’t happened often enough. I like it when a woman stares right into my eyes as she eats me up. To watch her wait for my reaction, as my penis inches its way to the back of her throat, makes me feel like a king.
Lou: No, I don’t like pulling a woman’s head back and forth as though she’s a zombie with a wet spot. Instead, I like to massage her head and sometimes yank on her hair slightly. It’s all about rhythm and chemistry — you either got it or you don’t. Do most men like pulling a woman’s head back and forth or is that just a rumor?
Andy: I like holding her head and having better sex with her mouth as though it’s a vagina. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not cruel about the whole thing; after all, she does have her teeth in a very sensitive vicinity. The last thing I want to do is upset or insult her.
Nash: No, when a woman opts to go down on me, she has complete and utter freedom to do what she likes. If she’s not good at it, however, I have no qualms about letting her know that she sucks… oops, the wrong choice of words. (Group laugh.)
Richard: I think I did that the first few times when I was but a mere amateur, considering that my only sex education consisted of raunchy porn and the occasional Hustler magazine. But I don’t do that anymore unless she asks me to… yes, women have asked me to pull their hair while they’re satisfying me.
Christopher: Occasionally I do, but it usually depends on the woman and the relationship I have with her. Sometimes sex is so much more than just a penis and a vagina, and other times, it’s not.
Richard: One day, my then-girlfriend decided that it would taste great if she put toothpaste on my penis. Needless to say, it wasn’t a pleasant experience, considering it felt like my penis had been covered with molten lava. What’s the worst thing a woman has ever done to your manhood in the midst of pleasing you?
Nash: One very inexperienced girlfriend of mine yanked my penis as though it were a very stubborn slot machine handle. I was in excruciating pain for quite a few hours.
Lou: She put flavored heating massage oil on my penis and a few minutes later, I felt as though a fire was going to shoot out of it. After a long shower, oddly enough, I didn’t seem to mind and got right back into the swing of things. Join now to meet local women seeking men for a hookup tonight.
Andy: I’m pretty basic; a girl bit my penis like it was an Oscar Mayer Wiener. I thought I was going to die and, by reflex, I almost slapped her. Luckily, it was nothing serious, but I’m somewhat hesitant to let just anyone go near my little dating buddy.
Christopher: I went home with a hot woman one night and things got hot and heavy between us. As she went down to my crotch area, I removed my clothes to give her better access and the freedom to maneuver. Well, to my absolute dismay and disgust, she puked on it. She threw up all over my penis; that was my penis’ job, dammit!