People – especially the engaged and newlywed – are looking for ways to keep their marriages together for all eternity. They think there is some magic to it. Some believe that the veteran married know something that others don’t. Well, I’m going to tell you a secret; there really is no secret. Most of the “secrets” are pretty obvious if you think about what it takes to keep a relationship strong. But sometimes everyday life gets in the way of minding those “secrets,” and you get distracted by all sorts of stuff. And that’s when marriages become vulnerable and can start to fray and, in some cases, fall apart. To prevent that from happening in your marriage, here is a list of buddiesfuck.com secrets to a happy marriage:
1. Make yourself happy.
Married people, especially women, tend to think that marriage will somehow fix everything in their life. They also think that their spouse will be the one to enhance their life and make them essentially happy. That’s a lot of pressure to put on another person, and it’s unfair to expect someone else to make you happy. You must create your own happiness. Do things you love. Change things that aren’t working. Do your part to make your marriage work well and stay strong. This means that you should tell your spouse what you need from him or her (and be explicit) and reciprocate by hearing them out.
2. Learn to listen.
When people hear that communication is essential to building a strong relationship, they think about talking. They want to learn how to express exactly what they mean, so that they are understood. But an even bigger and more important part of communication is learning to listen and really hearing what your partner is saying. If you can learn to listen to your spouse and understand him or her, you will be able to respond accordingly. The two of you will get closer, even if you don’t always agree. Sometimes, simply repeating what the other person is saying (and allowing him or her to correct you if you’re not listening well) is enough to make a difference.
3. Spend time together.
Duh! People grow apart if they don’t continue to spend time together to bond. When you’re constantly creating moments and memories together, you are less likely to feel distance between you. You don’t have to go on luxurious vacations or spend lots of money on date nights. You can simply share your favorite coffee in the morning before work or get cozy on the couch for your favorite movie or set aside time each week for dinner together. Just make sure to avoid becoming merely roommates. That means you should knock boots whenever you can. Got it?
4. Be faithful.
Other people are going to get in the way of your marriage. You can and should have friends. But your spouse should be the person with whom you discuss your inner most thoughts and feelings. And he or she should be the only one with whom you are intimate – both emotionally and sexually. Overcoming cheating is a huge challenge, and if you’re faithful and don’t ever have to face such an obstacle, you are more likely to have a marriage that lasts.
5. Appreciate what you have.
Lots of people think the grass is greener elsewhere. They lament their own spouse and think their neighbor’s spouse is better. Then, when they rid of their spouse through separation or divorce, they realize how good they had it. Often, it’s too late to get back to good. The key is to focus on your own relationship and remember what makes your spouse special, what made you fall in love with him or her.